Maaf zahir dan batin

i once explained to my best friend, an american white chap, while residing under the same roof during university days, that the significance of ramadan is to seek forgiveness from God and therehence seek His love and that the signficance of Eid-ul-Fitr is to seek forgiveness from everyone else and therehence seek their love. he got so excited and on the day of eid he will wake up earlier than he normally will and he will block me from leaving the house till i apologize to him for every thing i did. in the subsequent eid he overslept and so he waited for me to return from mosque and demanded me to seek forgiveness from him. he was so thrilled by this exercise cos he explained that if he had to ever do the same, that will be the last thing for him to do... to seek forgiveness from another person, one naturally has to lower themselves, swallow their pride, bruise their ego which is rather a painful and bitter process which interestingly only produces the nectar of healthier relations. we can see this especially amongst politicians. even when they are at the core of fault, the most incorrigible ones will refuse to apologize and when they do, bitter enemies only unite. its human to err. but its not only divine who should forgive.

unfortunately sometimes opportunities are denied to us even when we are willing to seek forgiveness. once someone asked if i will go to this person, who has wronged me so cruelly, and seek forgiveness from him if she can arrange and i said i will without hesitation simply because that is the one of the chief objectives of Eid-ul Fitr. unfortunately that someone cherishes enmity more than reconciliation and refused that opportunity. i remember since as a kid seeing the mosque on the day of eid being a place for reconciliation. fathers and sons or brothers or relatives who had severed ties, seperated, fallen out with each other and stopped talking will reconcile with a hug and handshake.

amongst the variuos muslim communities i have seen, the malays are the most steadfast in observing the tradition of seeking forgiveness and love during eid. they will make a huge effort to go and visit every single relative and friend. they also use a very powerful and meaningful phrase "maaf zahir dan batin" which means forgive me from within and outside.

in my blog, i may or may not have written something that might have hurt your sensitivities. if i did, i must say it was never my intention and i sincerely apologize. Maaf zahir dan batin.